Snails are incredibly cute yet slow animals. I’m a snail mom myself, so I certainly know how adorable these little slimeballs are. Snails can also be quite amusing and playful!
It’s not surprising that these unique mollusks have inspired so many snail puns and jokes. Today, I’m sharing the best ones to shellebrate the snail way of life!
Funny snail puns and jokes
1. Slow and steady wins the race, said the snail, as it passed the hare.
2. Why did the snail paint an ‘S’ on his car? So people would say, ‘Look at that S-car-go!’
3. I bought a snail to join my race car team, but it was too slow. It was a real escargot!
4. What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor!
5. When the snail got a job, he was mollusked over the moon.
6. Why don’t snails ever feel lonely? Because they carry their homes on their backs!
7. Did you hear about the snail who finally bought a sports car? It was a turbo snail!
8. Why don’t snails ever argue? They don’t want to have a slugfest!
9. What’s a snail’s favorite game? Snaileopoly!
10. Why did the snail buy a car? Because it wanted a “shell-ter” on wheels!
11. Snails never skip breakfast. They always have their daily slime shake!
12. When snails have a party, they always throw a ‘slow-motion’ celebration.
13. Why did the snail join the school band? Because it could play the snail-o!
14. Did you hear about the snail who got robbed? He said, “They took everything, even my shell phone!
15. The snail decided to go on a diet. It’s trying to avoid the fast food!
16. What’s a snail’s favorite movie? The Shellshank Redemption!
17. I told a snail a joke about shells, but it didn’t find it very humerus.
18. Why did the snail start a band? Because it had a good shellection of instruments!
19. Why did the snail become a gardener? Because it heard there were plenty of plants to “snail on”!
20. What do you call a snail who plays the cello? A shellist!
21. Why did the snail become a mathematician? It was good at solving slime-ple equations!
22. What did the snail say when it rode on the turtle‘s back? ‘Wheeee!’
23. What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine? A slowpoke.
24. Why was the snail so successful in business? Because it believed in ‘shell-f improvement’!
25. Did you hear about the snail who joined a gym? He wanted to work on his “mus-shell” tone!
26. Why did the snail bring a ladder? Because it wanted to take its time getting to the top!
27. How do you communicate with a snail? With snail-mail!
28. Why did the snail apply for a job at the bakery? Because it heard they needed someone to make slow-rising dough!
29. What is a snail’s favorite band? Nine Inch Snails!
30. Why don’t snails like fast food? Because they believe in the slow food movement!
31. What’s a snail’s favorite TV show? ‘The Walking Slow’!
32. I heard the snail won an award. It was for ‘Most Slimepressive Performance’!
33. Why did the snail go to school? It wanted to learn its ABCs: Always Be Crawling!
34. Why was the snail so bad at hide and seek? Because it always left a trail!
35. What’s a snail’s favorite kind of boat? A slow-sail!
36. Why did the snail buy a car? Because it wanted a “shell-ter” on wheels!
37. How do snails keep their shells shiny? With snail polish.
38. What’s a snail’s favorite part of a mystery novel? The ‘snail-biting’ suspense!
39. Why did the snail paint its shell? To improve its shellf-esteem.
40. What’s a snail’s favorite type of music? Slow jams!
41. Did you hear about the snail who joined a gym? He wanted to work on his “mus-shell” tone!
42. Why did the snail cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken!
43. What did the snail say to the slug? ‘You’re looking a bit sluggish today!’
44. Why was the snail so good at yoga? It mastered the ‘snail pose’!
45. What did one snail say to the other when it was time to move? “Let’s shellebrate the journey ahead!
46. Why did the snail get a job at the library? Because it heard they had an extensive collection of “shell-f-help” books!
47. What do snails read before bedtime? Snail tales!
48. Why did the snail become a chef? Because it was great at making slow-cooked meals!
49. What did the snail do when it won the lottery? It bought a mansion with a lot of garden space!
50. Who is a snail’s favorite rap musician? Slime Shady!
51. How did the snail break the ice? It slowly slid into the conversation!
52. How does the snail communicate with its friends? It leaves them ‘sticky notes’ along its path!
53. How does the snail catch up with the latest news? It reads the ‘Snail Street Journal’!
54. Why did the snail join the circus? It wanted to showcase its shelltacular acrobatics!
55. What’s a snail’s favorite movie genre? Anything with a ‘slow-motion’ scene!
56. Why did the snail refuse to share its food? It was shellfish!
Garden snail puns
1. Gardeners who gossip are often accused of being “snail-talkers”!
2. Snails make great gardeners because they’re experts at “leaves-dropping”!
3. I tried to tell my snail a joke about gardening, but it said it was too busy with its “own shellection”!
4. Why did the snail bring a measuring tape to the garden? To see if the plants were “up to scale”!
5. Snails love gardening because they’re always “rooting” for the plants!
6. What did the garden snail say when it tasted home-grown lettuce for the first time? “Mmm, this is ‘shell-icious’!”
7. The snail joined the gardening club because it heard they had a lot of “soilful” activities!
8. I told the snail it should help with the weeding, but it said it was more interested in “shellebrating” the blooms!
9. Snails are excellent companions in the garden; they always bring a “slimey” sense of humor!
10. Why did the snail become a gardener? Because it wanted to branch out and leave a trail!
11. The snail got a job at the garden center because it was an expert in “slow sales”!
12. I asked the snail if it wanted to learn about fertilizing, but it said, “No thanks, I’m already good at ‘composting’ jokes!”
13. The snail decided to start a garden blog, but it was worried about “slug” traffic!
14. I tried to race with the snail in the garden, but it said, “Sorry, I’m already in the ‘slow lane’!”
15. Why did the snail become a landscaper? Because it had an eye for “snailed it” designs!
16. The snail said it wanted to become a famous gardener so it could be on the cover of “Snail & Garden” magazine!
17. The snail said it wanted to start a garden-themed blog called “Slow Growers”!
18. I asked the snail if it was excited about the garden tour, and it said, “Yes, I’m feeling ‘plantastic’!”
19. The snail started a gardening YouTube channel called “Slow and Steady Grows the Garden”!
20. I told the snail it should write a book about gardening, and it said, “I already have a ‘shellection’ of ideas!”
21. I told the snail it should start a garden-themed podcast, and it said, “I’m already a ‘shellebrity’ in the garden world!”
22. Why did the snail get a job as a garden inspector? Because it knew how to “snail out” problems!
23. What is the Latin name of the garden snail? Helix slimepersa!
Giant African land snail puns
I’m a giant African land snail mom, so I couldn’t leave out the giants of the snail world!
1. Why did the giant African land snail visit Africa? To go on a “shell-fari” adventure!
2. What did the giant African land snail pack for its trip to Africa? A suitcase full of “snail-mail” postcards to send back home!
3. Why did the giant African land snail love the African savanna? Because it could “shellebrate” its slow pace without any interruptions!
4. How did the giant African land snail stay cool in the African heat? It found a shady spot and “snailed out”!
5. Why did the giant African land snail choose Africa as its vacation spot? Because it heard the weather was perfect for a “snailcation”!
6. What did the giant African land snail say when it saw the Nile River? “That’s one ‘snail-tastic’ waterway!”
7. Why did the giant African land snail go to Africa during the rainy season? Because it wanted to join the “slugfest”!
8. Why did the giant African land snail decide to stay in Africa permanently? Because it felt right at home in its “snailtural” habitat!
9. Why did the giant African land snail bring a ruler to the party? To measure up to its shell-f!
10. Why don’t giant African land snails need to worry about weightlifting? They carry their gym equipment on their backs!
11. What is the Latin name of the giant African land snail? Achatina Gigantica!
Snail pun one-liners
1. I don’t always tell snail jokes, but when I do, they’re always on a ‘slime time’.
2. Snails never rush, they’re just ‘shellebrating’ life at their own pace.
3. I asked the snail if it wanted to race, but it said it was too busy ‘snail-ing’ life.
4. I snailed it!
5. I’m snailing away.
6. Don’t rush a snail; it’s got a ‘mollusk plan’ for everything.
7. A snail skipped the party because it was feeling sluggish.
8. Snails make terrible burglars because they always leave a trail behind!
9. Why hurry when you can ‘snail-lax?’
10. My pet snail is shellebrating his birthday.
11. Snails know how to ‘shellebrate’ life.
12. I told the snail to pick up the pace, and it replied, “I’m not ‘shellfish,’ I just like to take it slow.”
13. I told the snail it needed to hustle, and it replied, “I’m just ‘shell-shocked’ by your pace!”
14. Today I’m taking it slow and snail-axing.
15. Snails have mastered the art of ‘snailf-care’.
16. Snails are the ultimate mindfulness gurus; they’re always ‘shell-f-aware’ of the present moment.
17. I’ve finally found my snailmate!
18. Let’s take it slow and snail-y.
19. I’m just snailing around.
20. I’m snailing for you!
21. Snails are the original slow food advocates.
22. Life with a snail is always at a snail’s pace.
23. Snails are the masters of shell-f defense.
24. When something catches a snail’s interest, the snail is all antennas!
25. Snails are the epitome of patience; they never succumb to fast food temptations.
26. The snail started a fashion line called “Slow Couture”!
27. Shell yeah!
28. Don’t be a shell-out.
29. These jokes are shellarious!
30. Keep on slimin’!
Conclusion
It’s not just about the pun; it’s how you shell it out. Whether you’re out in the garden, taking care of your pet snails, or just want to share some jokes with your friends, these snail puns have you covered.
I hope we snailed it today and you had a good laugh. If you know other shellarious snail-themed jokes or puns, feel free to share them in the comments below!